


Slow lock up

by Upstarsfromreality



Series: Bringing it all back home [4]
Category: Elementary (TV)
Genre: Angst, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-11-08 20:13:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17987801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Upstarsfromreality/pseuds/Upstarsfromreality
Summary: I knew when I started this post-final series that I would eventually have to deal with Tommy. This was necessarily a little darker than most of what I've written in the past, but not any darker than the show itself.





	Slow lock up

**Author's Note:**

> I knew when I started this post-final series that I would eventually have to deal with Tommy. This was necessarily a little darker than most of what I've written in the past, but not any darker than the show itself.

Paige paused and looked up from her book. She had heard the door close almost two minutes ago, but Tommy had not come into the living room yet. Paige considered for a moment, and realized that this hesitation had been going on for days. She picked up her cane and went out to the hallway to watch him, maybe steal a kiss. What she saw in the hallway horrified her. Tommy had placed his gun into its case, but instead of locking it up, he was staring at it.

Tommy turned around, saw Paige watching him, and started to stammer. “It doesn't mean what you think, baby - honest.”

Paige held back her instinctive reaction to that. “Ok, baby. Why don't you finish locking that up, come on into the living room, and tell me what it does mean,” she suggested mildly. Paige knew that if she wanted to make any progress on the subject, she would have to show Tommy she trusted him not to do anything stupid with the gun, at least right then.

Paige sat down on the couch. Tommy followed, a minute later. He looked into her eyes. Paige could see how tired he was. He'd been that way for a long time. “Ok, Tommy,” she said, “You've had a chance to put your gun away. So why don't you tell me what staring at it means, if it doesn't mean what you assume I thought.”

Tommy sighed, “Maybe I shouldn't have assumed. But your face looked like you thought I was considering using it on myself.”

“I was thinking that, Tommy,” said Paige quietly. “You've been depressed for a long time. Ever since Hannah.” Paige didn't have to say what “Hannah” referred to. They both knew what actions her stepdaughter had taken, and what Tommy had done about it.

“Depressed, yeah, a little bit,” admitted Tommy, “but not suicidal. I wouldn't do that to you.”

“Then tell me why you were staring at the gun,” countered Paige.”Convince me there's some other reason for you to do that almost every night for a week.”

Tommy looked up in surprise. He hadn't realized Paige knew it hadn't started today. However, he gave her the explanation she asked for. “The gun is a symbol of what I am. Every time I look at it, I remember that I am a cop. But I didn't act as a cop that night. I acted as a criminal. When I think about that, it takes me a little longer every night to lock the symbol of me being a cop away.”

Paige sighed. “Hannah was months ago. This thing with the gun started last Friday. What changed?”

“I saw Marcus. He came into the precinct to meet some of the squad for a last lunch. When I said hello, he couldn't meet my eye. I think he might have found out somehow, and told.”

“Baby,” protested Paige, “A little awkwardness doesn't mean that.”

“This wasn't a little awkwardness, Paige. Marcus used to respect me. I'm pretty sure I lost that. If he told, it's because he believes in leaving a place better than he found it. He doesn't think he's doing that with me there, and I'm not sure I do, either.”

“Do you know what you're going to do?” Asked Paige.

“No,” said Tommy simply.

“Ok. I ask only two things: one that you remember I married you for better or worse, and that means both of our worse, not just mine.” Paige gestured at her cane, at the sheet of test results on the table. “And two, that if you ever do think about using the gun, you tell me.”

“I promise,” said Tommy. He might not have been a good cop anymore, but he would always be a very fortunate husband.


End file.
